Sunday, November 6, 2011

Recipe: Skillet Fried Beaver Anal Glands

A tasty beaver with ripe young anal glands (Photo credit: NPS Photo)
Beaver anal glands have been a staple of the American diet for decades. In fact, you have almost certainly eaten many helpings yourself. You wouldn't know it, of course, since this fine ingredient is listed as "natural flavoring" on the back of most foodservice packaging. You can thank your congress for that. 

Disclaimer: This isn't a post featuring a recipe for skillet fried beaver anal glands (sorry, for those of you who really wanted to make this dish).

It is a post about how freeing Americans from excess government regulation is resulting in beaver anal glands (literally) being shoved down your throat without your knowledge.

How did I suddenly develop a keen interest in beaver anal glands?

It turns out I came across a blog by Bruce Bradley. Bruce is a former marketing exec who worked with heavy hitting corporate food giants like General Mills, Nabisco, and Pillsbury.

At Bruce's blog, you can learn about awesome lobbying successes such as disguising cow stomach, hair, feathers, and insects under innocuous-sounding ingredients like "enzymes," "cystine," "confectioner's glaze," and "natural red #4."

I thought you'd want to know.

Fried grasshoppers
And just to set the record straight, I'm not vehemently opposed to eating insects. My 7-year old made me eat some fried grasshoppers a few weeks back. They weren't bad. Tasted like shrimp.

But if I'm going to eat insects (or beaver anal glands) I want to know about it first. Is that too much to ask here in America?

6 comments:

  1. Dig it, my friend. Love your recepies, and in this case, love your commentary. -J

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  2. Thank you sir! Hope you guys are well.

    -D

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  3. Ripe young anal glands. Oh jeez, I'm both laughing and horrified.

    Tell me, after your son made you eat the grasshoppers, did he pin you down and snicker-snag you until you cried uncle?

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  4. Hey Kirby,

    Even worse! Will aspersed my manhood to the point that I felt I had to eat the fried grasshopper just to continue calling myself a man....

    -D

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  5. I own a dog grooming business and I have to express anal glands. Believe me, it is the most fowl smelling stuff I have ever smelled. I will be making my own ice cream from now on.....

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